Evolution

2001: My first flight ever to Southeast Asia is booked and a wave of panic is hitting me, hard, as I am realizing I am about to leave my confort zone. “What am I gonna do if I fall sick, can’t communicate with people or simply don’t feel comfortable, so far from home?"

24 February 2015: U Bein bridge, next to Mandalay, Myanmar/Burma

2015: I'm reading at the back of a taxi driving to Bangkok center. My body is relaxing while my mind is getting increasingly excited about the idea of going to my favorite Japanese restaurant in town. While I look outside, checking if the driver is taking the right road, I start thinking of the different places I like in Bangkok and would like to go back to in the coming days. Once again, being here suddenly feels like Home.

20 February 2015: Mr. Aye Kyaw Htay, vendor in Zegyo Market, Mandalay, Myanmar/Burma

And while my heartbeat keeps dropping, I wonder how I would have reacted, back then, in 2001, if someone had predicted 2015 to me. A punch in his face, maybe. Or, more certainly, a stronger panic attack... ;-)

In(ner) Peace

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” - Rumi

Yes, 10 days of yoga and meditation make you more flexible, quiet and a bit cheesy ;-).

16 February 2015: Glen, Koh Pha Ngan, Thailand

Heading back to Myself

End of mission. Ciao radio, security checks, curfews, IEDs and 24/7 phone. Welcome deep sleeps, books, massages, good food and inner silence. Southeast Asia, I'm coming back.

21 January 2015: Majid, Samanghan province, Afghanistan.

Introspection

Time flies. Two years ago, I was in Yaounde, Cameroon, wondering if my new job really was for me. Today, I am writing my end of mission report in Afghanistan, waiting for a good break, already knowing another challenge is coming.

14 January 2013: Sarah, waiting in Yaounde, Cameroon.

Charlie's, Ahmed and the too many others

05 January 2015: Venezia, Italy

The Last Rocker of Mazar

Miles Davis and a smelly bukhari (Afghan fuel heater) are warming up my mood and room. Earlier in the afternoon, I got the very stupid idea of looking at readers's comments on a Swiss newspaper's website. Reading so many bitter people expressing their frustration on any single subject they could, without even knowing what they are talking about, raised a few questions in my mind. Is bashing everyone and everything around them making them feel better? Why are they considering themselves as "being a 100% Swiss" and why would it matter? "Hell is other people" wrote Sartre...But who cares... I finally got the chance to take a portrait I was initially supposed to take a year ago :-)

20 December 2014: Curzio, Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan.

Redefining Priorities

After more than a year in the field with a technically limited camera (poor or no AF, limited ISO, poor ergonomic), I bought last Summer a Fuji X-T1 with two lenses. It is not the first time that I'm trying to have a smaller camera, easier to carry than my usual Canon 5D and lenses (filing a backpack on their own). I bought a few compact cameras in the past but never really felt confortable with them and finally always preferred to work with my Canon. However, 18 months ago, the security situation in the places where I was working and the difficulty to travel with that heavy backpack forced me to change my plans and to use for some time a camera, limited to max 800 or 1600 ISO, with a pathetic AF system but great picture quality.While it restricted the number or kind of shots I could take (e.g. low light portrait), it surprisingly also improved my way of shooting. It forced me to better prepare my shoots, to care less about sharpness and more about content. And because I did not have enough shutter speed at low light, I was then forced to improve my slow shutter speed skills, learning something new.Since I bought a Fuji X-T1, I received several times the same questions "Is it better than Canon?" "Don't you miss a full frame sensor"? No, it is not as good as Canon (slower auto-focus, less ergonomic). But I can carry it with me more easily and adapt my pictures to its limitation. Like too many before me, I certainly wasted way too much time in the past focusing on equipment or picture's sharpness, rather than trying to improve my pictures and my eye.I had the pleasure to talk lately with another enthusiastic photographer about camera, photography in general and how photography coule make us become more attentive of things around us. A particular light, some expressions or any small details, making our life a bit different. And that's certainly what matters to me. Photographing those instants, those details that I like; or capturing some faces or moments I would like to keep for me.Maybe my camera can not shoot all the things another one could (e.g. challenging sport shots). But at least, I can have it with me in any bag and take the kind of shots I really like.

21 November 2014: A bread vendor during a buzkashi match in Mazar-e-Sharif, Northern Afghanistan

Back on his Feet

Taking pictures during an official visit has never been my favorite activities in photography. The usual same handshaking, the same discussion, the same attitudes and the same problems to manage (remain discrete, try to fit as many VIP as possible in the frame, avoid people looking at me, etc...). Not unpleasant, but usually not the most exciting neither. Except when side moments give you some interesting opportunities...

22 November 2014: A young patient at the ICRC orthocenter in Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan

For my first weekend in months without setting a foot in my office, it actually feels weird, but nice, to end up processing two big batches of pictures again.

Buzkashi

With the cold making a comeback in Afghanistan, the new Buzkashi season started 2 weeks ago in Mazar-e-Sharif. Rather brutal (more than during my last visit), it remains an incredible experience.After almost a year in Afghanistan, I sometimes still find difficult to realize that I am really working and living here. I still remember reading the book "The Photographer" and being fascinated by the pictures of the late Didier Lefèvre. This country was supposed to stay in my imagination, a fantasy in my traveler's mind. Realizing that I went today to a Buszkashi match, like others go to a cinema, is just an additional reminder of how my life has changed. For the better and for the rest... :-)

21 November 2014: A buzkashi match in Mazar-e-Sharif, Northern Afghanistan

21 November 2014: An Afghan rider during Buzkashi match in Mazar-e-Sharif, Northern Afghanistan

Winter is Coming

2°C in Kunduz and a strange feeling of déjà vu.

07 February 2014: Ghulam Hussein, Kunduz, Afghanistan

Return to Forrest

Playing tennis table alone doesn't exactly sound like fun, even if you are stuck in a compound, with nobody else to play against. That was until I discovered that ping pong robot existed. Forrest Gump would have been amazingly jealous (and would have lost) :-)

01 October 2014: Piotr, ICRC staff and passionated table tennis player. Kabul, Afghanistan

Up in the Air

My good old friend Bonobo is flirting with my ears with his new album live. And time and gravity don't exist anymore...

Stress management lesson One

17 October 2014: Talia, Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan

Silent WE

Quiet weekend, reading about new places, wondering if I could live and work there. Maybe this year, I won't need googlemap to know where my new mission is ...

04 October 2014: Azar. Bukhara, Uzbekistan.

Uzbek Break

Quick visit to Uzbekistan, for the weekend of Eid. It is always very surprising to find tourists, bars, women laughing in the streets and perfectly restored ruins, only a few hours north of Afghanistan. Even more when some vendors address you first in French and then in English...

04 October 2014: Uzbek vendor and artist in Bukhara, Uzbekistan

05 October 2014: Mir-i Arab madrasa, Po-i-Kalyan complex, Bukhara, Uzbekistan

Dreams of Home

While summer is slowly coming to an end and my first thoughts on my next mission starting to appear, I suddenly wish I were in Southeast Asia, Home, eating street food and shooting portraits. Quietly, before going back to another crazy mission. Soon... inch'allah.

24 September 2014: On the road between Taloqan and Fayzabad, Northeastern Afghanistan

26 September 2014: Afghans during Maghrib prayer in Fayzabad, Northeastern Afghanistan

This is not about work

"Why don't you write more about your work?". The question is not new and the answer always remains the same: I do not share details of my work. Yes, ICRC made me adhere to a code of conduct, "encouraging" me to avoid posting stories on the organisation's activities without its approval. And yes, a big part of my work involves confidential aspects (meetings with interlocutors from all sides, visits in detention, ....). But honestly, it only plays a secondary role in my decision.

The truth is simply that this blog is not about ICRC, the countries I am working in or the atrocities I might be witnessing. This blog is about sharing pictures, coupled with some stupid anecdotes or, from to time to time, more serious thoughts on general subjects. While people enjoy reading poetry, cooking or practicing yoga after work, I love photography. And as it currently is not my main activity anymore, this blog a good excuse for me to keep shooting and challenging myself.

I am not against the idea of talking about some parts of my work or Afghanistan. You will just have to invite me for a drink or dinner :-). But if you can't wait or currently live a bit too far for that, some talented people, with more skills and knowledge than me, should already be in a position to help you. Start by having a look at the Afghanistan Analysts Network or keep an eye on The New York Times, who frequently has interesting articles.

31 August 2014: Barcelona's streets, Spain

Humans of Afghanistan

Driving about 20km to visit an old city and listening to a guy speaking about the challenges faced when renovating the local mosque is rarely a weekend highlight. But when it happens in Afghanistan, visiting Balkh city and the Masjid Sabz (Green Mosque) becomes a fantastic adventure. Another reminder that, without the war, Afghanistan could be a great place for tourism and trekking.

16 August 2014: Young Afghan in Balkh city, Northern Afghanistan

P.S: And yes, I'm the happy (so far) owner of a Fuji x-t1 with a 23mm 1.4. Let's see what I can do with it...

Full Stop

A few hours after I published my last post, Migros Magazine finally contacted me, apologizing for the modification of my picture and claiming that I was "... completely right: it loses a bit of the intensity" but then blaming its cropping on the website requirement and its editing on the printing of the magazine, requesting the contrast to be modified.

Modifying a picture to print it doesn't mean that the same version has to be published online. And if a website can not display pictures without cropping them, then it has a serious problem, even more when it is supposed to host a photo competition. A proof that it is possible is that, a few hours after that email was sent, my picture was finally visible in its original version on their website. And I would prefer not comment on the "loses a bit of the intensity".

25 July 2014: Cruise on the Bosphorus and drinking competition between a mother and her son. Istanbul surroundings, Turkey.

I know Migros is not a photography magazine and I appreciate their efforts to promote or to show humanitarian's work under a different angle. However, their attitude is unfortunately very representative of the society today. Photographers and their work are not as respected as much as they should.  Pictures are frequently used without proper credits or edited without their author's approval. Photographers are not always paid for their work, or late or simply with peanuts, as if taking pictures was just pressing a button. Some can blame the crisis in the photojournalism industry. But as said Jean-Francois Leroy, director of Visa pour l'Image: “Magazines always say they have no money [for serious reportage]. This is bullshit. They have a lot of money for pictures of Prince William’s girlfriend, but not enough to send two photographers to Chechnya? Bullshit.”

If "a picture is worth a thousand words", maybe it is good to remember that there is some work behind it ...

P.S: That also means that you can not use the pictures of my website without my approval ;-)

Lack of dignity

Photography is not random. Good pictures are rarely taken by pure accident. Put a camera in my hands and I usually feel obsessed by photography. I try to find a rare moment, a good light, something different, or something that reminds me something else, another picture, another ambiance or atmosphere. And I set my camera to get what I want, what I think would give me what I want.

25 July 2014: Cruise on the Bosphorus, next to Istanbul, Turkey

The result is rarely exactly matching my expectations and even when it looks ok, I remain anxious till I can see it in front of my computer. Most of the time, I am not really satisfied or even not satisfied at all. But when I feel I got something nice, then I feel happy, in peace with myself and quickly want to get a second one, like a drug addict.

Those pictures are my pictures, my babies, my testimony of life around me. Even if I am the only one looking at them or appreciating them.

24 July 2014: Ghulane Park, Istanbul, Turkey.

Few weeks ago, a Swiss Magazine, Migros, selected one of my pictures, already published here on my blog, for a photo competition on the subject "Dignity despite suffering". I was first happy to have the opportunity of sharing it with a larger audience than my blog, and to hopefully have people looking at life in Central African Republic a bit differently.

But once published online, I instantly realized that it had not only been processed (exposure changed, to make it brighter) but also cropped. My picture was not random. Before I took it, I first saw a moment that inspired me, that I wanted to share. Then, I moved to find the right angle, composition and light. And finally, I waited, till the mother turned her head, till the children in the background stopped waving at me. I wanted a unique moment and, for once, I got it. But Migros made it more random, by breaking the symmetry, composition and brightness of my picture, without even informing me or asking for my authorization. I contacted them three times to ask them to revert it to its original version or to, at least,  give me an explanation. I am still waiting...

Keeping my picture as it had been taken would not have cost them anything, not even time. And lets by honest, I do not consider that retouching it changed, in one way or another, my chance of winning (or losing). But it just seems that, despite their "prestigious jury" (...), Migros, as many others before them, does not see photographies as the result of a work or some reflexions, but just as someone pressing the button of an automatic random camera. Something without value, that they can modify however they feel like and make their. Sad... and I'm not sure to see any dignity in it.

Takeoff

Fuji X-T1 and a lovely 23mm lens or more money on my bank account. Fuji X-T1 and a lovely 23mm lens or more money on my bank account. Fuji X-T1 and a lovely 23mm lens or more money on my bank account...

12 July 2014: Daniel, at D-4 of his end of mission, Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan.(unretouched)

Edit: To respond to the usual question asked lately, no, this picture was not photoshopped. I never add / remove / modify elements in my pictures and only play with contrast/colors/exposure, when needed.